Thursday, June 27, 2013

What I really need to do to be a better mom...and old stuff...

I have this one thing about me that may be a negative effect of something, but, I never like to take for granted that the joy I have today will be here tomorrow. It makes me plan ahead and appreciate today. One thing that's always been interesting to me and that I've often thought of, though I have no family directly involved, is the Holocaust. 

I often think of the Jews living their lives, doing their thing, and then suddenly they're herded up and treated like animals...and they lost everything. People went to medical school, law school, started businesses and families and everyone looked forward to their futures of enjoying the fruits of their labors...kicking back someday on a rocking chair and admiring their grandkids. No one expected it. No one ever would have fathomed it, yet, it happened.

Right now in 2013 my life is pretty much "plugged in." Everything seems to revolve around electricity and electronics. I download school stuff for my kids on my computer. I communicate with many friends here. And, rather than my annual diaries that I've had since 2nd I type here and my words are stored somewhere that I don't know.

I have more than one blog and part of my motivation is my ancestors. I'd love it if my ancestors woulda' had blogs that I could have read what thoughts got them excited...what made them tick? I'd have loved it! So, part of the reason I do this is for my descendants. 

But, should I just expect that this world is ever going to go insane again? Should I just expect that this blog will always be here and be accessible? Should I expect that it will never happen that I'll go to log onto my computer and the internet will be gone? That "blogspot" will be gone?

I like to plan for the worst, I guess.

So, there is a service that you can get your blog printed. Pretty cool, eh? (I don't actually say, eh) And, I checked today to see a sample of what my blog would look like printed. It was neat! I noticed then, however, that when I 1st started this blog I didn't have a "rhythm" yet, and so all the fonts weren't the same, the way I quoted the Bible was randomly formatted, and I didn't always put a photo on each post. 

So, I spent a while today trying to un-randomize the formatting in my older posts. Starting at the oldest post from 2011 and moving forward thru them it was interesting to see what I was thinking about way back then. (haha whoa! 2 whole years ago!) A lot of what I "thought about" before involved the Bible and things and slowly I guess I've funneled my thoughts more toward "child care" in these last days.

Then, of course...being preoccupied by that task as well as doing laundry, making lunch, vacuuming, doing dishes, uploading homeschool end-of-the-year stuff, and so forth...I was snippy and irritable with the kids. 

Around 5 I was driving just Josh (11) to go to gymnastics and I was ruminating on the day...all the things I'd thought about...all the focus in my posts on taking God seriously and being a non-hypocritical Christian and having respect for children was like this huge neon, "FAILURE" sign over my head after my crap attitude at times today.

So, I said to Josh, "Josh, you know...I am just not the mom I wanna be. There is so much stuff I wish I would do and stuff I wish I wouldn't do. I am trying to get better, though."

He said, "I think I know what you need to do."

I almost cringe waiting for some blow that will crush my heart with an observation about something I'm doing wrong...when he says, "You need to take a vacation to the Keys. And, we need to strap you into one of those chairs and go fishing."


He explained to me that they have these chairs with straps on them to keep you from being pulled overboard by the fish you catch.

His idea for me to become everything I wanna be in life was for me to go fishing with his "dream fishing vacation spot"...the Florida Keys...and he thought right away that me being his MOM that I'd need a strap to help me not fall overboard. 

Made me smile. 

Made me feel happy.


In case anyone's are some of my oldest posts...

Like a gun that's made to kill

Not saying, "Oh my God!"

Are all Bible versions the same?

Wrestling with God

You can't sin with your body

Pleasure comes from God

No one ever expects the Spanish Inquisition

Lost Abrahams

"Light" in the mirror

I'll pray about it

Falling flat on your face

How we teach morality

Teaching empathy to your baby

"That one is mine!" Apology accepted.

Learning to skate. Learning morality.

Where's you get that idea?

How do you get into heaven?


Today's post is post #146

I hope my grandkids do get to read this stuff so they know that crazy Granny (me) used to be able to think!!! 

me (44), Josh (11), and Evy (9)
Thanks to "Oldify" via iPhone 5

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