Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Kids are NOT better seen than heard

There is a big difference between studying a state driver's manual and driving. A big difference between what it is like to see the slides someone took on their mission trip and living in a Central American country. You know what I mean. Experience is the best teacher, right?

Well, I am one who keeps reading and learning about child development and child psychology and how I should be treating my children. I keep reading books and blogs and trying to get "better" at this whole parenting thing and really it seems that the key to being a better parent is "understanding" (also known as empathy).

Last night…I got an experiential understanding of how children feel when we shush them. I got to see how they feel when we want them to just be quiet and not to bother us.

I can be rather annoying to watch movies with, it's true. I see "metaphors" in everything and I tend to go, "Oh wow! This is just like…(whatever)" a few times during any movie. (It's that Romans 1 thing) So, we were watching, "Thor", right? And, there were all these cool "lessons" in it and I was actually being conscious to not have any "outbursts" of excitement during dialogue, nonetheless, there were 2 movie viewers (2 of my kids) who wanted me silenced. And, the way they went about it was by basically "shushing" me just like an irritated parent would shush a child and how it made me feel really hit me.

From the start of the movie I felt very "excited" and I had been totally enjoying the movie. My brain was alert and active and definitely in "learning mode". But, as soon as they negatively reacted to me I felt first like I just wanted to leave the room. Then, for the rest of the movie, something in my brain was definitely shut off. I was no longer really enjoying the movie, tho' I was still watching it. I was no longer alert and my brain was no longer in "learning mode". Their reaction really "crushed my spirit".

For the remainder of the movie, I was very "well behaved"…but something was shut off and the lost inside me. And, it just really made me go, "Wow…" at how often I "shush" my kids because they're too exuberant about whatever…and so now I learned that children are definitely not better seen than heard… :)

(And, still below...some things are better not seen, either...hehehe)

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