Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Christian vs Islamic Terrorists

I've seen several posts this week equating the abortion clinic shooter with the recent ISIS-claimed acts.

As a Christian...I say they cannot be compared because anyone calling themselves "Christian" cannot commit an act of violence against another human and say it's in the name of Jesus.

But that's just my opinion, right?

So, to answer the question, "Can a Christian be a terrorist and are Islamic terrorists just the "extremists"?"  I did some searches on online searchable "holy books" for both religions...

(thanks to online searchable books studies like this are easy)

- - -


"Can a person justify harming another human being based on the following teachings?"

Philippians 2:3
Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves

Matthew 5:43-48

(Jesus said this regarding things from the Old Testament...)
“You have heard that it was said, ‘you shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46 For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? 47 If you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? 48 Therefore you are to be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

Matthew 5:39
I say to you, do not resist an evil person; but whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also.

Romans 13:9
“You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

Matthew 19:19

"You shall love your neighbor as yourself.

Matthew 22:39
You shall love your neighbor as yourself.'

Mark 12:31
You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no other commandment greater than these.”

Luke 10:27
And he answered, “you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind; and your neighbor as yourself." 

Ephesians 4:32
Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.

Philippians 2:4
do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.

Galatians 5:14
For the whole Law is fulfilled in one word, in the statement, "
You shall love your neighbor as yourself."

Romans 13:8
Owe nothing to anyone except to love one another; for he who loves his neighbor has fulfilled the law.

Romans 15:2
Each of us is to please his neighbor for his good, to his edification.

Romans 13:10
Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.

1 Corinthians 10:24
Let no one seek his own good, but that of his neighbor.

James 2:8
If, however, you are fulfilling the royal law according to the Scripture, "
You shall love your neighbor as yourself," you are doing well.

James 4:12
who are you who judge your neighbor?

Matthew 23:11
the greatest among you shall be your servant.

Luke 22:26
But it is not this way with you, but the one who is the greatest among you must become like the youngest, and the leader like the servant.

Matt 7:12
In everything, therefore, treat people the same way you want them to treat you, for this is the Law and the Prophets.

Luke 6:31
Treat others the same way you want them to treat you.

Matthew 25:40
‘Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.’

Matthew 25:45
‘Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to Me.’

1 Thess. 5
appreciate those who diligently labor among you, and have charge over you in the Lord and give you instruction, 13 and that you esteem them very highly in love because of their work. Live in peace with one another. 

14 We urge you, brethren, admonish the unruly, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with everyone.

15 See that no one repays another with evil for evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another and for all people. 16 Rejoice always; 17 pray without ceasing; 18 in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus

(No instruction is found for followers of Jesus to kill, hurt, or harm anyone.)

- - -


"Can a person justify harming another human being based on the following teachings?"

Quran (4:76)
"Those who believe fight in the cause of Allah…"

Quran (8:65)
"O Prophet, exhort the believers to fight..."

Quran (2:191-193)
"And kill them wherever you find them, and turn them out from where they have turned you out. And Al-Fitnah [disbelief or unrest] is worse than killing...

Quran (2:244)
"Then fight in the cause of Allah

Quran (8:12) 
"I will cast terror into the hearts of those who disbelieve. Therefore strike off their heads and strike off every fingertip of them"

Quran (48:29)
"Muhammad is the messenger of Allah. And those with him are hard (ruthless) against the disbelievers and merciful among themselves"

Quran (61:4)
"Surely Allah loves those who fight in His way"

Quran (2:216)
"Fighting is prescribed for you, and ye dislike it. But it is possible that ye dislike a thing which is good for you, and that ye love a thing which is bad for you. But Allah knoweth, and ye know not."

Quran (3:56)
"As to those who reject faith, I will punish them with terrible agony in this world and in the Hereafter, nor will they have anyone to help."

Quran (3:151)
"Soon shall We cast terror into the hearts of the Unbelievers, for that they joined companions with Allah, for which He had sent no authority".

Quran (4:74)
"Let those fight in the way of Allah who sell the life of this world for the other. Whoso fighteth in the way of Allah, be he slain or be he victorious, on him We shall bestow a vast reward."

Quran (4:89)
"They but wish that ye should reject Faith, as they do, and thus be on the same footing (as they): But take not friends from their ranks until they flee in the way of Allah (From what is forbidden). But if they turn renegades, seize them and slay them wherever ye find them; and (in any case) take no friends or helpers from their ranks."

Quran (4:95)
"Not equal are those of the believers who sit (at home), except those who are disabled (by injury or are blind or lame, etc.), and those who strive hard and fight in the Cause of Allah with their wealth and their lives. Allah has preferred in grades those who strive hard and fight with their wealth and their lives above those who sit (at home). Unto each, Allah has promised good (Paradise), but Allah has preferred those who strive hard and fight, above those who sit (at home) by a huge reward "

Quran (4:104)
"And be not weak hearted in pursuit of the enemy; if you suffer pain, then surely they (too) suffer pain as you suffer pain..."

Quran (5:33)
"The punishment of those who wage war against Allah and His messenger and strive to make mischief in the land is only this, that they should be murdered or crucified or their hands and their feet should be cut off on opposite sides or they should be imprisoned; this shall be as a disgrace for them in this world, and in the hereafter they shall have a grievous chastisement"

Quran (8:15)
"O ye who believe! When ye meet those who disbelieve in battle, turn not your backs to them. (16)Whoso on that day turneth his back to them, unless maneuvering for battle or intent to join a company, he truly hath incurred wrath from Allah, and his habitation will be hell, a hapless journey's end."

Quran (8:39)
"And fight with them until there is no more fitna (disorder, unbelief) and religion should be only for Allah"

Quran (8:57)
" with them so as to strike fear in those who are behind them, that haply they may remember."

Quran (8:67)
"It is not for a Prophet that he should have prisoners of war until he had made a great slaughter in the land..."

Quran (9:5)
"...slay the idolaters wherever you find them, and take them captive and besiege them and lie in wait for them in every ambush, then if they repent and keep up prayer and pay the poor-rate, leave their way free to them."

Quran (9:14)
"Fight against them so that Allah will punish them by your hands and disgrace them and give you victory over them and heal the breasts of a believing people."

Quran (9:20)
"Those who believe, and have left their homes and striven with their wealth and their lives in Allah's way are of much greater worth in Allah's sight. These are they who are triumphant." 

Quran (9:29)
"Fight those who believe not in Allah nor the Last Day, nor hold that forbidden which hath been forbidden by Allah and His Messenger, nor acknowledge the religion of Truth, (even if they are) of the People of the Book, until they pay the Jizya with willing submission, and feel themselves subdued."

Quran (9:38-39)
"O ye who believe! what is the matter with you, that, when ye are asked to go forth in the cause of Allah, ye cling heavily to the earth? Do ye prefer the life of this world to the Hereafter? But little is the comfort of this life, as compared with the Hereafter. Unless ye go forth, He will punish you with a grievous penalty, and put others in your place."

Quran (9:73)
"O Prophet! strive hard against the unbelievers and the hypocrites and be unyielding to them; and their abode is hell, and evil is the destination."

Quran (9:111)
"Allah hath purchased of the believers their persons and their goods; for theirs (in return) is the garden (of Paradise): they fight in His cause, and slay and are slain: a promise binding on Him in truth, through the Law, the Gospel, and the Quran: and who is more faithful to his covenant than Allah? then rejoice in the bargain which ye have concluded: that is the achievement supreme."

Quran (9:123)
"O you who believe! fight those of the unbelievers who are near to you and let them find in you hardness."

Quran (17:16)
"And when We wish to destroy a town, We send Our commandment to the people of it who lead easy lives, but they transgress therein; thus the word proves true against it, so We destroy it with utter destruction."

Quran (47:3-4)
"Those who disbelieve follow falsehood, while those who believe follow the truth from their Lord... So, when you meet (in fight Jihad in Allah's Cause), those who disbelieve smite at their necks till when you have killed and wounded many of them, then bind a bond firmly (on them, i.e. take them as captives)... If it had been Allah's Will, He Himself could certainly have punished them (without you). But (He lets you fight), in order to test you, some with others. But those who are killed in the Way of Allah, He will never let their deeds be lost."

Quran (66:9)
"O Prophet! Strive against the disbelievers and the hypocrites, and be stern with them. Hell will be their home, a hapless journey's end."

Tabari 9:69 
"Killing Unbelievers is a small matter to us" The words of Muhammad, prophet of Islam.


When anyone commits violence against another...and claims he's done it for Jesus...he has, in fact, not done it for Jesus...and I would tell that person so and would point to all those verses and say, " cannot say you did that in the name of Jesus." There can be no such thing as a "Christian" terrorist...only a confused terrorist who is trying to justify what he's doing by claiming some divine mission.


When a man kills and claims he's done it for Allah...I wouldn't be able to point to their holy book and tell them what they've done is against their religion because Allah commands it of all his followers...not just the extremists..."I will cast terror into the hearts of those who disbelieve. Therefore strike off their heads and strike off every fingertip of them" and "Unless ye go forth (to fight), He (Allah) will punish you with a grievous penalty."

- - -


Sharia Law
Sharia law and women
Sharia law and gays

Friday, October 16, 2015

Moving at 50 is too noisy...slow down...

Had a moment last night where I realized something about our fast-paced modern world that made me sad...

I live in Florida, right? Most of the time it's when "up" "on". As is everyone else on the street. Modern cars, ya know, all have ac...power windows...and even with the economy being all poopy, you don't often see an "old" car around.

I was waiting for my son at soccer practice last night with the windows down, enjoying the cool air that's arrived this to "Time Hop" it seems to do every year at this time (I don't know where 'climate change' is happening but it's not happening here). When we left and took off for our 17 minute ride home, I left the windows down and turned the ac "off."

What I noticed then is what made me sad...

The speed limit from soccer to home is 50 in most places. It takes me through a 4-lane hwy area with stores and restaurants on both sides of the road until just two miles before my house everything disappears and we're out "in the country."

As I approached a red light and pulled to a my right was Lowe's and Target and a little mini-strip mall with places like Pie5 and Panera, and to my left was a new mini-mall with LA Fitness, Goodwill, BJ's, and Pollo Tropical. Right at the corner of the entrance to that shopping area, like a beacon to call all weary travelers in, stands a bright shiny brand new Wawa.

"Back in the day" when I was driving a 60 Chevy as my daily driver, I had no ac and so "windows down" was the norm. And, I pulled into those places a lot since I didn't usually "fill 'er up". Just slapped $5 or $10 in the tank at a time as I had money, right? Gets ya pretty far, actually, back when gas was at 60¢ a gallon.

I always liked everything to do with my car. I liked driving even when I had nowhere to go just cruising around. I liked washing my car. I liked waxing it. And, I loved pulling in and putting gas in it. Yes, I was weird, but I loved it. The smell of the gas and gentle guzzling ticking of the gas pump.

Inevitably, a dude I'd classify as old (who...cough cough gag...was about the age I am now!) would pull in and comment on my car and tell me he had one once and how he sure wishes he'd never sold it.

Last night...

As I sat at the red light and looked over at the Wawa I was hit with a feeling of nostalgia...for those long-ago days and for the first time in the months since that Wawa was built...I felt like I was "there."

I realized...for the first time I'd ever sat at that intersection, I felt like I was "there" like...actually there present in the intersection and not just observing.

I thought about how opening the windows really changes the driving experience and makes you feel more connected to and really "present" where you're driving, rather than just an observer encased in glass. We all spend so much time in front of screens looking at HD images...when driving...the screen of glass in front of me and all around me could easily be just a screen. Being inside the car blocks the sounds, feels, and smells of outside for the most part. Could so easily just be a screen...

So, with the windows down, I could feel the outside air. I was surrounded by the same temperature as outside rather than the temperature I always choose. I could heard the sound of my tires slowing as I'd approached the stop. I could smell the cars. I could hear their motors. 

The light turned green and I took off again away from the intersection and was shown why I normally don't put the windows down. It's too noisy.

You know? Having the windows down at 50 whips your hair around (except not like the song) and is just so noisy. Can't really talk and listen to the radio like that too easily.

I thought about how it's not even "natural" for humans to move that fast. Apart from the invention of a car, how else would we move through the air that fast? We can't run that fast, nor can horses, so this is the 1st time in history (the last 100 years or so) that man has been able to move this fast. 

And, then it hit me.

It's this modern 2015 world...not only have we invented machines to move us around faster than nature would have ever intended...but our LIVES move that fast. And, because our lives move so fast, they're too noisy to be "present" in and so we shut ourselves up to keep everyone else out... 

In the past...everything was slower. When we "drove" somewhere in our cart or on a horse...we could talk to our companions, and we'd sing (not listen to the radio and be bombarded by advertising) and we'd be able to hear, feel, smell, see, and be present on the road.'s like we put the windows up in our cars and shut out the world and just go around inside our own little climate-controlled, sound-controlled, smell-controlled worlds and are oblivious of the world outside our cars...

And, really we must do it because it's unnatural for us to travel so fast and it's too loud. We're all always going so fast...moving faster than nature (or God) ever intended us to travel. We close up, sink into our own little worlds, because hearing, feeling, smelling, and being "present" in the world we're a part of would be too noisy...because we're moving too fast.

I think that's why Facebook can be so tiring and wearisome and people need "breaks" from it because in one way fb makes us stop and notice what's going on in the world of others's 1000 others' worlds...and it's too much...too much noise!

We're moving to fast.
It's too noisy.
We've all blocked each other out and are traveling at great and dangerous speeds around, past, and beside each other, all completely separated.

And, where are we even all going? 
What's the goal?

Get born...hurry hurry hurry and sleep all night...

Mothers leave their babies to cry and cry and's so noisy...because life is so fast and the baby needs to sleep so they can go back to work and

Off to daycare...and the baby cries because Mommy is's so noisy...but hurry hurry hurry become independent...get potty trained...learn to talk...

Off to Kindergarten...and again the children cry because they want to be with Mommy but Mommy must hurry hurry hurry...learn to read...

Get good the parents and children fight and argue over the's so noisy...

Behave! Spank! Spank! Spank! Cry! Cry! Cry! We fuss and fight with the children to make them into the person we want them to be someday when they're grown and it's all so noisy!

Get involved in everything you can because that looks good to colleges...

Off to

Graduate and get a job and now

Make your own baby to do the same thing to...
Push the child to sleep all to
All that noise...all that work...
What's the end goal?

The end goal should be "today" To be present today with whomever and wherever you are...and enjoy them...

Our culture was intended to walk 5mph, feet touching the ground, smelling the air, feeling the breeze...but spends most of its time at 55 inside a box...

Here is what I have seen to be good and fitting: to eat, to drink and enjoy oneself in all one’s labor in which he toils under the sun during the few years of his life which God has given him; for this is his reward.

Enjoy life with the woman whom you love all the days of your fleeting life which He has given to you under the sun; for this is your reward in life and in your toil in which you have labored under the sun.

I know that there is nothing better for them than to rejoice and to do good in one’s lifetime;

Furthermore, as for every man to whom God has given riches and wealth, He has also empowered him to eat from them and to receive his reward and rejoice in his labor; this is the gift of God.

Indeed, if a man should live many years, let him rejoice in them all, and let him remember the days of darkness, for they will be many. Everything that is to come will be futility.

Rejoice, young man, during your childhood, and let your heart be pleasant during the days of young manhood. And follow the impulses of your heart an the desires of your eyes. Yet know that God will bring you to judgment for all these things.

Slow down.

God is the "Great I Am."
That's a present tense verb. He IS. Now. 

We're created in His be like He is. 
Let's start being here now...

(What's funny to me about writing this is in my mind when I imagined writing this it was 2 paragraphs!)

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Politicians are all narcissistic actors...

I almost posted this on Facebook but don't wanna deal with comments and I don't want anyone to think I'm aiming anything at them...

- - -

What's on my mind? People are so...gullible. Shallow. Short-sighted.

I watched a little bit of the debate last night...about as much as I can stomach of any political debate on either side...and saw one of the candidates get a standing ovation for something they said...and it was all I could take and I was done.

Was it (the guy I had not even heard of till last night) Jim Webb?

From Wikipedia about him...
"The Navy Cross is presented to James H. Webb, Jr., First Lieutenant, U.S. Marine Corps, for extraordinary heroism while serving as a Platoon Commander with Company D, First Battalion, Fifth Marines, First Marine Division (Reinforced), Fleet Marine Force, in connection with combat operations against the enemy in the Republic of Vietnam. On July 10, 1969, while participating in a company-sized search and destroy operation deep in hostile territory...[Jim Webb] approached a third bunker and was preparing to fire into it when the enemy threw another grenade. Observing the grenade land dangerously close to his companion, First Lieutenant Webb simultaneously fired his weapon at the enemy, pushed the Marine away from the grenade, and shielded him from the explosion with his own body. Although sustaining painful fragmentation wounds from the explosion..."

Were people cheering him? I thought he actually seemed reasonable and like a decent person from the brief bit of listening I did. I liked him.

But no. He wasn't being cheered.

It was Hillary...who once said, “What difference does it make?” when asked what really happened in Benghazi.

Hillary...who is on video just flat out lying about the email situation. Lying thru her smiling teeth. Why isn't being caught in a lie like that just enough to end a political career for ANYONE? But no. There she is. Still high in the polls. People putting her bumper stickers on their cars. Yet...she's being investigated by the FBI and doing the little kid pass-the-blame thing last night saying something to the effect that all this fuss about the emails and her lying is just the Republicans being a pain (I guess they control the FBI now?) and then she says something to the effect to, "what difference does it make that I lied?" AND for that she got a standing ovation.

Seriously, America! Why don't we all just admit it? We don't care if our leader has a noble character. We don't care if our leader is a liar. We don't care anything about WHO our leader is...just so long as we like their political affiliation...and whether or not they share our own opinion on a few issues.

I see politicians as narcissistic actors all out not to change the world and serve the public but to climb the ladder and get to the top and win. And, the idea that most people are out there totally sucked into it...taking it all so seriously...and at the same time so seriously messed up they would "vote" for someone I wouldn't even trust to babysit for me...

It just makes me...sad...

What a world we live in and what a world it could be if people were decent...

Monday, August 24, 2015

WTF do you think of your Bible version?

I've seen lots of arguments about which Bible version is best. Some (I guess most) Christians insist that using versions like the NIV are perfectly acceptable and that they are even study-worthy. They insist that the changes in the NIV in wording aren't significant but just simply make it "easier to understand."

To demonstrate how significant slight changes are let me ask you to compare the following statements...

Abortion is the removal of the products of conception from the uterus.
Abortion is the killing of a baby while still inside the mother's womb.

Or consider how powerful just the changing of one single word is...

Oh, shoot! I forgot my shoes!
Oh, shit! I forgot my shoes!

What the heck are you doing?
What the hell are you doing?

I can't find my freakin' keys!
I can't find my fuckin' keys!

Sorry bout that...but it proves the point. The fact that the "f" word makes me (and many) cringe to read or type says it all. There is power in specific words that is lacking in others.

The world was created by the Living Word who spoke the world into creation. There is power in the tongue. Power in words. 

There is supposed to be power in the words God left for us in the Bible. Changing them...takes away their power. Any Bible version that's not aimed at being specifically "word-for-word" has changed God's word... 

(And, what a subtle and tricksey way to take away our power by offering us pretty covers and "easier" wording...We live in a world where the US Church has become a joke with its 50% divorce rate and worship of politics and meaningless Christianese explanations for all the evil in the world...)

You can choose a pretty Bible with a trendy cover and wording any elementary school student can read...or you can choose to read/study what God actually said. The choice is yours...I can't for the life of me understand why any lover of the Living Word would be OK with it...

Sunday, August 16, 2015

The differences between boys and girls is all in our heads...

One thing I've been thinking about lately is that our society currently seems to be pushing hard to UNdefined though removing the definitions of things is a sign of "tolerance" and "acceptance" but I feel like it's the exact opposite.

What do I mean?

Caitlyn Jenner. 

If Caitlyn would commit a crime and leave behind DNA evidence...the csi's would collect the evidence and determine! A "white male" committed the crime! They'd determine this thru the DNA evidence...because Caitlyn Jenner is...a white male! a dude.

Does this mean I'm intolerant because I'm not going to call Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner a woman? Because I'm not going to refer to him as "she"? I think it's the opposite of intolerant...

I can accept and (if he was my friend - love) him...for who he really a dude...who wants to be a woman. I don't have to change what I call or re-define him to accept him.

If you have to redefine what he is so you can just think of him and call him simply a "woman" aren't you the one who is rejecting who he really is and forcing him to fit into your box of acceptability? You can't accept a man with boobs and no penis anymore? You're not ok with that? You have to now tell yourself he's "a woman" so you can accept him?

And, the whole deal with Target removing gender labels from like the same thing like...come on! 

Even studies done not by Christians but by secular evolutionary scientists who probably don't even watch Fox no desire to oppress anyone...have shown that when girls play with cars...we play with them DIFFERENTLY than boys do. And, when boys play with dolls they play with them differently than girls do. We're different because our brains (not just our genitals) are different and it's beautiful. 

Scientists now know that sex hormones begin to exert their influence during development of the fetus. A recent study by Israeli researchers that examined male and female brains found distinct differences in the developing fetus at just 26 weeks of pregnancy.

A number of structural elements in the human brain differ between males and females. “Structural” refers to actual parts of the brain and the way they are built, including their size and/or mass.

New research on the neural connections within the human brain suggests sex-based differences that many have suspected for centuries: women seem to be wired more for socialization and memory while men appear geared toward perception and coordinated action. The female brain appears to have increased connection between neurons in the right and left hemispheres of the brain, and males seem to have increased neural communication within hemispheres from frontal to rear portions of the organ.
Brain development: Is the difference between boys and girls all in their heads?

It's not culture...that makes boys and girls different. It's not our genitals and it's not sexual preference that makes us's our brains...and the developmental differences start when that sperm hits that egg.

Our culture didn't make boys and girls be different. The fact that boys and girls are different made our culture treat them that way.

And, it's all science. Pure unbiased science that can show us that.

It's like some people (like Target's marketing people removing "boys" and "girls" from the toy department) are trying so hard to be "open minded"...they've gone so far that their brains have fallen out. 

Erasing the definitions that describe our differences isn't tolerant or's uneducated and insulting to the things that make all of us unique. It's like we're taking all the colors that make us all so bright and...colorful ;P and smearing them all together so we just have this blasé brown/gray color. 

Jumping on this genderless bandwagon is like making duck lips and putting up peace fingers for photos. It's trendy and stupid. 

Stuff like that just drives me freakin' crazy. And, I won't encourage or promote it. Target was my "go-to" store for the last 4 years. I have spent no less than $1,000/month there on groceries and clothing, etc. But...that's over now because one thing I'm definitely intolerant of is...stupidity and trying to hard to be "trendy."

And, that's what I was just thinking about today...

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Are you part of the denominator?

I was just thinking about "denominations"...

Jesus said...

"Any kingdom divided against itself is laid waste; and any city or house divided against itself will not stand." Matt. 12:35

"If a kingdom is divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand. If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand." Mark 3:24-25

"Any kingdom divided against itself is laid waste; and a house divided against itself falls." Luke 11:17 the church said, "I know! Let's create denominations!"

"...number of parts into which one whole is divided..."

Church people like to think of themselves as "kingdom people," right? They will say this because Jesus said, "My kingdom is not of this world." Right? 

So, just where did we get the idea that "denominations" (parts that divide a unit) were a good idea to help build God's kingdom when Jesus said that even satan is smart enough not to divide his kingdom or it would fail?

"If Satan casts out Satan, he is divided against himself; 
how then will his kingdom stand?"

Any kingdom divided against itself is laid waste...

I see a lot of talk these days among churchgoers about the world "falling apart" around us...well...gee...makes me think maybe Jesus meant what He said...and that the problem isn't the world not caring what God has to say about how we are to live...but might just be..."the church" not caring what God has to say about how we are to live...

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

What you teach your kids when you're not trying to

One of the things I think I've learned over the years is that kids are little parrots...mimics. They pick everything up from us like how to speak. They hear/see us do something so they practice it. You don't literally sit and "teach" your kids every word of the English language, they just "pick it up" from you.

Seems "everything" is like that.

Recently, my mother, who I think is rather attractive for her age, was looking at a picture just taken of her and my son. She said something that blew my mind...

"I'm so ugly! I don't know how anyone can stand to be in the same room with me!"

I was floored. I'd never ever heard her say that...ever! Yet...I've said that hundreds of times in my life. Said that exact thing! How was that possible? Even my son looked at me right away with that look in his eye like, "Wow! Where have I heard that one before?!"

So, how did I pick that up from her? Not by direct teaching but by how she's thought of herself has determined how she's treated herself her whole life...and in front of me. If 80% of communication is body language then she's been telling me somehow that she feels that way about herself.

One thing I've caught on to recently, that proves this point to me, is that if I want my kids to say, "Please!" and "Thank you!" I need to do it. I need them to see me doing it and they will imitate me. So, when we go get the free cookie at Target's bakery each time we go there...I do not say to my kids, "Now, say 'thank you' to the lady,"...*I* say, "Thank you!" and sure enough, the kids follow. (It's actually a good way to do that because then the kids feel like they did it on their own and it shows them that their mom is polite and it shows me they wanna be like me! Win win!)

But this also works in the negative. Probably just the same way, when my mom had thoughts about herself that, "I'm so ugly! I don't know how anyone can stand to be in the same room with me!" somehow, I took that in as how to think about myself.

It's funny how a bunch of things that all connect will happen around the same time because then recently I had a conversation with my eldest daughter in which she expressed that sometimes she feels like a worthless piece of crap.

So, where did she pick that up from, I wonder?

Not too many days before she said this I'd found a folder in the bottom of a container that has stuff I wrote in high school and thereabouts. I found this, on a piece of notepaper with the heading, "POTENTIAL F-UPS FOR TODAY". It looks as though it was written probably around 1989/1990 (when I was 20 or 21)...(and weighed probably 120 pounds soaking wet...) 

- - -


I’m overweight, flabby, can’t grow my hair, have little tits, 1/2 way ok at anything, really good at nothing, I talk too much, I’m indecisive, I’m moody, bitchy, mean, selfish, untrustworthy, emotionally unstable, weak, can’t take care of myself, I have no motivation, can’t keep interest in things, untrusting, paranoid, pessimistic, uneducated, boring, strange, unlikable, unfriendly, I gave up my kid, give up on things too easily, am stressful to be around, too critical, jealous, hypocritical, self pitying, still alive, can almost draw but not quite, impatient, ununderstanding, pushy, dumb, undeserving, childish, I’m a bum, I have no ambition for money so I’m a burden to the world I live in…
I don’t like me

- - -

This is why "self" esteem really is so important and why thinking of yourself horribly, no matter if you do so vocally or not, matters and can scar your children. This is how I felt about myself as I began my parenting journey, and no matter how much I'd focus on the child's welfare, she was seeing everything I did to and for me. And, she learned...

Take some time to appreciate yourself. Make a list of reasonable things you don't like about yourself and look at those things. Are those things you can change? Are they true or not true? And, do those things have a positive angle you could try to emphasize?

Work thru your own issues, for your children's sakes, and your whole family will be happier and healthier.

Prov. 23:7 "For as he thinks within himself, so he is."

(I have to say when I look at that list above, the one that says, "still alive" kinda' makes me laugh. And, the one that says, "I have no ambition for money..." makes me feel good about myself because I now think that's a good quality.)

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Leave the past in the past?

A common thing you hear people say when they get into a stressful situation in a relationship is, "Let's just let the past stay in the past and move forward..."

Sounds great. 

But I was just thinking...what do we consider..."past"?

Imagine I say to my husband,"I f'in hate you! You suck! Go to h-e-double-hockeysticks!" and stomp off.

Two minutes later, he comes to me and says, "Hey, that was really hurtful, why'd you say that?"

What if I would turn to him, and say..."Why do you have to keep bringing up the past? Let's leave the past in the past, OK?"

Although it would technically be in the past (by 2 minutes)...that would be ludicrous, wouldn't it?

But what if he came to me... 

2 hours later?
2 days?
2 weeks?
2 months?
2 years?

...with the same question, "Why'd you say that to me? That was really hurtful."

Just when would it be appropriate for me to say, "It's in the past let's just let bygones be bygones," and why?

See, I don't think that offenses in relationships are about time...they're about resolution...because if something has gone wrong in a relationship and has not been resolved then even if it happened 20 years ago...if it's still disturbing's still current. It's not in the past.

Issues aren't either in the present or the past...they're either resolved or unresolved. And, the only way to move forward out of a conflict is to resolve it...

When I was a kid the way I was dealt with when I had conflict with my parents was I was sent to my room. Then, whatever it was was never brought up again. This left me with a lotta' unresolved junk to deal with thru my adult years, and I feel like, for the most part, I've finally (at age 46) done it.

I was sorta' trained that way, and in many ways I'm more comfortable just running from issues, but ultimately, I can't ever let things linger. I can't be at peace while a conflict is still "alive".

I think the best thing we can do for our kids is to teach them how to communicate effectively at all times - even in conflict. 

That means we have to let them yell back at us. We have to let them say, "No!" We have to let them say, "I hate you!" and help them work thru their big feelings until they know how to express themselves in mature, effective ways.

We have to teach them, by example, and thru counsel things like... 

"A gentle answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger." Prov. 15:1


"Be angry and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity." Ephesians 4:26,27


"If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. If you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same." Luke 6:32, 33

Otherwise, what we will raise are children who when they have conflict with someone, they'll keep the "I hate you!" thoughts bottled up inside, letting the sun go down on their anger over and over telling themselves they're "keeping it in the past"

And then...when they finally let the anger come out, they will have to start from a an adult. And, if they've married someone with similar (lacking) skills...they won't grow up...they'll end up divorcing...

Train your kids up right, folks. Train them to be able to resolve conflicts because conflicts...they will always have in all phases of life. How you train them to deal with it will determine how many they stuff into their baggage and drag along with them till the day they die...

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