I have always liked putting my thoughts down on paper...or nowadays a screen that looks like paper. :) I have never wanted to become just a name. For me...all I have of my own great grandmothers and beyond is either a black and white photo or two...or nothing at all but a name on a family tree. Somehow to think that all I've ever gone through or learned could just disappear and be gone is kind of not cool with me. I feel like I'd want my great great great granddaughter to have some idea of what I was like. I feel like I have things I'd wanna share with her. So, I write. And, I never throw anything I write (or anything anyone else writes to me) away.
But, like I said, something "hit" me yesterday...
If "you" or any of my future descendants would read every word I have typed into this blog...even if I hack away at this for the next 30 years before I croak..."you" still...wouldn't...know...me.
You know?
Over there on the right this blog site nicely organizes my thoughts into categories. If I keep doing this for years perhaps that category list will expand (oh yes! to include things about growing old!) and you would really be able to just click on topics to get an idea of what "I think" about a variety of issues. And, since I'm long winded you get to read a LOT about what I think about things. But...
But...
Even if you read 1000 blog posts by me...you still wouldn't know me as well as you would if you'd just spend a day with me...and hang out with me...and see me...and listen to me talk...and watch me interact with my kids and with others...take a drive with me and see how I act on the road...see how I act in stores with strangers...etc...
My future grandsons and granddaughters could read everything I've ever written...and that won't make them know "me". It will just make them know a lot of stuff about me. That kinda' makes me sad.
Like, "imagine"...my great great grandkids all reading my old blog every day trying to "get to know me"... Soon, they'd argue about what I meant when I said, "this" or "that". I could see them competing to see how much of my blog they could memorize. Who could quote it the best? They could have competitions and awards given out for people who knew the most about my blog. People could write papers on the blog posts I write...make books out of them. People could even go out and read my blog posts to large groups of people to share it with the world...oh yeah...and post them to their profiles every day...
But, a person who actually KNEW me could walk into the room in the midst of some of the "experts" on me and that person would have a whole different "air" about them with regards to me. They would have a confidence about them and a relaxed casual manner about me that the others wouldn't. A person who actually knew me would not be in any way fanatical about me. And, the person who actually knew me might never ever have read even one of these posts...but they'd still know me better than someone who had all these posts memorized...
Do you grasp the depth of that?
The "experts" would likely even take offense to the person who actually knew me. They'd grill that person with questions, "Well, what does she think about the NIV Bible? What does she think about the topic of abortion? Who would she have voted for? What does she think about spanking? What does she think about..." anything.
They could grill the person who actually knows me on any number of things, and, my friend would possibly have no clue about most of the questions. But, the things my friend would know about me would be because of experience with me. With regards to the spanking question...they might not know that I believe it's wrong but they may be able to say, "Well, of all the times I've been with her when her kids are naughty I've never seen her hit any of them."
Then you could almost see the "experts" sneering, "You don't know anything about her! How can you say you know her!?"
But, even if the "experts" on me would have read 1000 pages of text by me...even if it was 2000 pages...the person who'd spent time with me would ACTUALLY know me. My friends would know that this person who types away at the computer is "part" of me and how it fits in with the rest of me. This is my serious and "deep" side that types here. They'd know how I can be kind of annoying during movies if this part of me comes out. ;) They'd know that if they bring certain things up I'm gonna go "here". They'd also know what a not-serious idiot I usually am. :)
If all you know of me was the words I type...you wouldn't know how I can't stand to get my hands dirty or how I don't come out of my bedroom until I'm all "done" in the morning (hair/makeup/dressed). You wouldn't know that I like to burn candles in my house and wish someone would invent a toilet that NO odor could possibly escape from! You wouldn't know how I act when I see a puppy that needs a home or how I took care of my babies. You wouldn't know that I have PAD. (Parking Ambivalence Anxiety Disorder or that I'm prone to making stuff like that up.) You wouldn't know that I always go the speed limit, or that I always let people out before me and that I don't get road rage...
You could read everything I ever write...but until you spend a day with me you just simply don't know me...
So...the Bible. Do you read and read and read and read? Do you do Bible study after Bible study? Do you preach what you study about? Do you write blog posts about God's "blog"? Do you go to church twice a week and listen to Christian radio and watch Christian movies?
Truth of the matter is...that until you start hanging out WITH Him...all you know is a buncha' stuff about Him...and those people you look down on who seem to have a very casual attitude toward God...they're likely the ones who have actually been hanging out with Him...maybe you should hang with them?
