Saturday, May 28, 2011

Cause n' Effect

I was thinking...all parents talk about "instilling" things in their kids.

Basically...how do we do that?

When parents want to teach their kids "responsibility"...they will normally approach it by punishing the kids when they fail in that area. Without touching on the problems with the negative approach, very simply,  when the children "cause" something that's not the best, the parents strive to emphasize the "effect" that the child's action caused.

We teach them by "cause and effect". The child is the cause and we try to get them to understand the effect they had on the world.

Well, pretty much everything we do...everything our child does...good or bad...is in the category of "cause". Everything we do is a "cause" of something. And, so children are learning thru this process with their parents 24/7. They are learning about how they effect the world with what they do.

SO...when your baby feels hungry and attempts to alert you this is a "cause"...what effect do you teach the baby that that will elicit in the world? What about when a baby has not expressed hunger...does not feel hunger...yet the clock tells mom "it's time to eat" and so she feeds the baby? Then, even, when the baby "arches his back" in his hi-chair 'cause he really isn't hungry and is then punished. What are you teaching them about hunger? That hunger feelings = eat and when you're not hungry = don't eat. Or, do you teach them that hunger has nothing to do with eating?

When your child is not tired and they attempt to express that to you this is a "cause"...and if it is "time" for them to go to bed regardless...or when your baby is peacefully sleeping and for mom decides the nap should be over now and mom gets the baby out of bed...what effect do you teach the baby that their cause leads to?

Think of how many people in the US are overweight...because they eat when they're not hungry...
Think of how many people in the US who are sleep deprived and overworked...
Could it be that these people never leaned proper "cause and effect" with regard to their body's signals for sleep and food?

When your baby feels scared, unhappy, or alone and cries out to you...this is a "cause"...what effect do you teach the baby to expect from the world in this type of situation? Do you teach the baby (future adult) that when they are scared, alone, unhappy...to seek out those who will warmly accept, love, and comfort them? That crying out will bring them comfort from another person? Or, do you teach that baby (future adult) that the "cause" of crying out does no good and that what they should expect in life is to go thru everything alone and handle it on their own?

It's all really very simple... God actually designed us that raising children is a joy...that is mutually satisfying and health-enhancing...you so often hear of mothers who are "sleep deprived" but that is probably due to bad "cause and effect" training in the mom...because God designed our bodies that when baby nurses it makes baby sleepy...AND it makes mom sleepy...but moms are "too busy" to sleep with baby...and they suffer for it...and think that it is the BABY which is causing them their sleep deprivation...but really it is the mom's own ignorance of her own body's signals to sleep with the baby and when her body wants to that is causing her sleep deprivation...

Every interaction we have with our children is teaching them something. And, particularly with a newborn and young baby they are learning what to expect from EVERYONE for the REST OF THEIR LIVES!

Teach them what God is REALLY like...
For those of you who are following "Growing Kids God's Way"...it couldn't be farther from God's way if you tried...



Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
There was an error in this gadget